Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize