After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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