you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
