so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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