And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize