i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
