How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
