Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
