I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
