I'm lost and stupid without you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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