My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
