woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
