I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
