im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
