she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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