I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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