Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
True strength comes from lack of pants
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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