I accidentally burped into my bong.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
