Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She's the barista slut.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
