He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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