Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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