There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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