Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
