I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
