Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
