Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
