My nipple is on Facebook.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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