I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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