hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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