Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
