id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
