it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
