he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
