covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's official drugs can't kill me
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Your cock deserves a montage
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
