I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
