Whod you bang
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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