never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
