I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
