were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
