I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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