I swear she didn't look like that last week.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
