What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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