Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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