Screwed.edu
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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