I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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