'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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