On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
