I accidentally had phone sex last night
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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