i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
