he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
