She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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