Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
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I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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