you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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