Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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