just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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