Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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