Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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