you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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