what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize