So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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