I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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