I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
